Colossians 3:12-17 / Love "ONE" Another
Introduction: The Power of the “One”
Hello, church. It is good to be with you. My name is Jared, and I’m one of the pastors here at The Well. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and turn to Colossians. It’s not a trick—we are taking a one-week break from Corinthians. It’s that time of year again when people look back at the year that was and look forward to the year that will be. There is evaluation, there is hope, and there is anticipation. We want to capitalize on that as a church to focus our sights and direct our minds. We’ll be back in Corinthians soon, but Colossians 3 is where we will spend our time together today.
If you remember back in August, we had our State of the Church gathering. State of the Church is an event for us at The Well Community Church where we gather our people to reflect back on the previous year, but also look ahead to what is coming. Around this time of year, our staff has been evaluating the temperature and ethos of our church culture. At that State of the Church, we introduced a number of significant importance: the number one.
Among the thousands of people who join us on a Sunday or a Wednesday, it is easy for us to lose sight of the number that matters most to God—the number one. We handed out shirts and had graphics representing a maze. Life is complicated like a maze. There are twists, turns, and dead ends. Our lives are made up of one experience at a time: one cup of coffee in the morning, one conversation with a spouse, one interaction with a child, one moment with a coworker. All those single moments add up to provide meaning and influence. Every single individual relationship matters—our personal walk, our families, our church, and particularly the relationships outside these walls. The number one is deeply important to God: the one lost sheep outside the flock that has gone astray.
How has that emphasis on the one played out for you lately? Have you fallen into the category James talks about—becoming a forgetful hearer who heard the message but never put it into practice? Or have you been an effectual doer, embracing the one in your home, in your own heart, and outside the walls of the church?
James 1:22-25 (NASB)
But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for [once] he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the [law] of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.
My aim for our time together is very simple: that we learn to love one another. We need to take that concept of the one and learn to love that individual experience, that individual person, and that single conversation.
How do we do that? I want to give you some practical guidance. I don’t intend to overwhelm you with a massive checklist that makes you feel inadequate. You know how this time of year goes—you try to change everything, last about a week, and then quit. Instead, I want you to have a Spirit-sensitive mind. Look and pray for just one thing from this text to focus on so you can grow in loving one another.
Who We Are in Christ
The background of Colossians 3 is powerful. In verses 1 through 4, Paul talks about what God has done for the believer.
Colossians 3:1-4 (NASB)
Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
Then in verses 5 through 11, he tells us what believers must put off. Like taking off dirty clothes, he says to get rid of sexual immorality, deeds of the flesh, and corrupt speech. That is no way for a Christian to live.
Colossians 3:5-11 (NASB)
Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience, and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them. But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, [and] abusive speech from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its [evil] practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him– [a renewal] in which there is no [distinction between] Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.
Then he moves into verses 12 through 17. In this passage, you find specific commands that help us understand what it means to love one another, beginning with our own identity.
Colossians 3:12-17 (NASB)
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things [put on] love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms [and] hymns [and] spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.
In verse 12, Paul highlights the essential identity of a Christian. I train my oldest son, Cooper, this way. He’s at the age where he understands identity and conversation. My wife and I tell him, “Rumblies act like this, and Rumblies don’t act like that. Rumblies are considerate of other people. Rumblies don’t lie.” He repeats those truths back to us, which is a joy as a father.
Paul is doing the exact same thing here. He gives three words that define who we are: chosen, holy, and beloved.
First, we are God’s chosen ones. Ephesians 1 tells us that before the foundation of the world, God chose us in Christ to save us and raise us up. You have so much value that God stepped into your sinful life, breathed life into you, and chose you.
Ephesians 1:4 (NASB)
just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love
Second, we are holy. When you see the word “holy” in Scripture, think set apart for a distinct purpose.
Third, we are beloved. Did you know you are deeply, truly, and richly loved by God right where you are? Because you are chosen, holy, and beloved, Paul gives the first command: “Put on.”
Putting on the Character of Christ
The imagery of “putting on” is like putting on spiritual armor or new clothes. As our pastor PJ shared recently, the Holy Spirit produces qualities in us that we cannot produce on our own. Paul lists these God-given traits in verse 12: compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
Colossians 3:12 (NASB)
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
First is compassionate hearts. This is sympathetic, heartfelt compassion toward those who are suffering and in need. It isn’t just an emotion; it moves us to action. Compassion takes initiative.
Second is kindness. Kindness is benevolence in action—a sweetness of disposition. Kindness never happens in isolation; you cannot be kind to your couch at home. It is expressed toward others. The opposite of kindness is harshness, which stems from bitterness, selfishness, and pride.
Third is humility. Humility is having a lowly view of yourself before God. You know your place. God is up here, and you are down here. You have laid down your sword of independence. Pride was the original sin in the garden when Adam and Eve thought they could be equal with God. When I read a passage like this, my inner Pharisee immediately wants to muster up religious effort to make it happen. But we cannot produce humility in our own strength; it comes only from God.
Fourth is meekness. If humility is knowing your place before God, meekness is knowing your place before others. Meekness means you do not consider yourself superior to the people around you. It goes completely against the grain of our culture, which is obsessed with comparison and climbing the ladder. What would our marriages look like if meekness rang true? What if you woke up each morning trying to out-serve your spouse, saying, “Today is not about what I want; it’s about serving you”? Imagine the transformation in our homes.
Fifth is patience. Patience means self-restraint and a steadfast response in the face of opposition. Most of us have zero margin for patience. We schedule every minute, running from work to practices to errands, and then collapse into bed, only to repeat the cycle. We find ourselves in the drive-thru furious that an order is taking an extra minute.
Our lack of patience is amplified by digital distraction. Smartphones can be helpful, but they constantly demand our attention. Notice how people reach for their phones the second they have to wait in line. The first thing many of us do when we wake up is check social media updates from people we barely know. John Piper noted that when all our tweets and social media feeds are evaluated before the Lord, we will realize how much time we actually had for patience and prayer, but we filled it with mindless things.
I remember when the internet made that awful dial-up fax sound at 56k. Now we get frustrated if we don’t have high-speed connections. My wife and I were reviewing our internet package recently, looking at tiers labeled Pro, Max Pro, and Elite. I found myself thinking, “For ten more dollars, I could be Super Elite!” But what is the difference when you’re just checking email? We constantly buy into the cultural lie of bigger, faster, and busier, leaving no margin for God. Paul calls us to put on patience. If patience became your primary focus in every conversation and relationship, how would your life change?
Loving One Another in Community
Paul moves from individual character traits to our corporate relationships in verse 13.
Colossians 3:13 (NASB)
bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
First, we are called to bear with one another. Jesus invites us to take His yoke upon us because His burden is light. He is our sympathetic High Priest who walks with us through life. Forbearing means walking alongside people even when they are difficult or opposed to us. Our culture tells us to cut people off, leave the church, or move away when relationships get hard. But Paul says to bear with one another. That requires living by faith rather than sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7 (NASB)
for we walk by faith, not by sight–
Second, we must forgive. When people wrong us, our natural impulse is retaliation—an eye for an eye. But Jesus gave us a new commandment.
John 13:34-35 (NASB)
’A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. ‘By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.’
Loving one another and forgiving one another is how the world recognizes that we belong to Jesus. When we forgive our spouses, our parents, and our neighbors, it serves as a powerful witness to a watching world. Why do we forgive? Because the Lord has forgiven us. When you remember how much grace you have received at the cross, you find the supernatural power through the Spirit to forgive others.
In verse 14, Paul crowns these virtues with love.
Colossians 3:14 (NASB)
Beyond all these things [put on] love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
Paul speaks of agape—sacrificial, unconditional love. Love is like the chain of a charm bracelet that binds every single grace together in perfect harmony.
Letting the Peace of Christ Rule
In verse 15, Paul gives another essential command.
Colossians 3:15 (NASB)
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.
The peace of Christ is the deep, settled assurance that God is in control of your darkest valley and your highest mountain. The word “rule” comes from the Greek term for an umpire officiating an athletic contest. Just as an umpire makes the call on whether a pitch is a ball or a strike, the peace of Christ should govern the decisions of your heart.
Practically, how do you let Christ’s peace act as the umpire in your daily life? Ask yourself two questions:
- Does this decision reflect that Christ and I are on the same team?
- Does this choice promote oneness and deeper intimacy with the Lord?
If you run your choices through those two questions, you will make wiser, God-honoring decisions. Notice how Paul ends verse 15: “And be thankful.” When you are at peace with God, thankfulness is the natural overflow. When someone survives a major health crisis, like cancer or heart surgery, their perspective shifts completely. They become profoundly grateful just for the breath in their lungs. When Christ’s peace rules your heart, thankfulness will define your life.
Richly Dwelling in the Word of Christ
In verse 16, Paul reveals the ultimate source that fuels this lifestyle.
Colossians 3:16 (NASB)
Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms [and] hymns [and] spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
The “word of Christ” is the entire gospel message—the living Word who became flesh, testified to from Genesis to Revelation.
John 1:1 (NASB)
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
To “dwell” means to make a home. When someone lives in your home as a roommate, your relationship is entirely different than with a casual acquaintance at work. Paul tells us to let the Word dwell in us richly—not sparsely, but with overwhelming spiritual wealth.
When the Word dwells in us, two things happen:
First, we teach and admonish one another in wisdom. Teaching is instruction in the truth of God’s Word. Admonishing means warning a brother or sister in love about the danger of a wrong path, like telling a child not to touch a hot stove. We need Scripture on our lips in our Life Groups, in our homes, and across our dinner tables. It takes courage and meekness to say to someone, “Because I love you and because of what Scripture says, I don’t think this path matches God’s best for you.”
Second, the Word stirs our affections to worship. When the truth fills our minds, it drops into our hearts and erupts into singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. I am not a great singer, but I love to sing at the top of my lungs in the car. It is an emotional response to what God has done. You don’t have to be a professional musician to praise Him. Men, it is okay to be moved to tears over God’s grace, your brokenness, or His redemption in your family. Let the truth engage your whole heart.
Whatever You Do: Living in the Name of Jesus
Paul summarizes the entire Christian life in verse 17.
Colossians 3:17 (NASB)
Whatever you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.
Doing everything in the name of Jesus doesn’t mean mindlessly slapping His name onto ordinary tasks, like ordering a burger at In-N-Out “in Jesus’ name.” It means you live as His appointed ambassador. You represent His character, His heart, and His mission in your workplace, your home, and your community.
As we look ahead, what is the one thing God is asking you to focus on?
- Maybe it is putting on compassionate hearts or kindness.
- Maybe it is creating margin in your schedule for patience.
- Maybe it is bearing with a strained relationship or finally choosing to forgive someone who hurt you.
- Maybe it is committing to a Bible reading plan so the Word of Christ can dwell in you richly.
- Maybe it is setting an alarm on your phone throughout the day simply to pause and thank God for the breath in your lungs.
Pick one thing. Let’s be a people who love one another well.
Let’s pray together.
Father, thank You for Your Word in Colossians. These truths are challenging, but we are grateful that You have not left us to obey them in our own strength. You have given us Your Holy Spirit. Help us to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly. Teach us what it means to obey the commandment of Jesus to love one another, so that our lives may point others to You. We pray all these things in the precious name of Christ. Amen.