God’s Will for Your Life / 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12
The Big Idea: God’s Will Is Your Sanctification
If you’re like me, you’ve had times in your life where you’ve asked the question, “What is God’s will for my life?” Tonight, we are going to look at a section of Scripture where that very phrase—“this is God’s will”—is used. It only comes up a few times in the New Testament: this is God’s will for you.
We are continuing in our series in the book of 1 Thessalonians, looking at chapter 4, verses 1 through 12. If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn there.
By way of reminder, two weeks ago, Pastor Shay Sumlin took us through the end of chapter 3, where we see the incredible pastoral heart of the apostle Paul as he shares how he feels about the believers in the city of Thessalonica. Going back to the beginning of our series in Acts 17, Paul went to this city where the gospel had never been preached, led people to faith in Christ, started a church, and began a discipleship process with the new believers there. But then he was kicked out of the city by governing authorities and banished from ever returning. His heart longed to know what happened to them and how they were doing.
Finally, Timothy was able to go and bring back a report: yes, indeed, the believers there are still following Jesus and living out their faith. Paul rejoiced and offered an incredible prayer for their growth in love and holiness.
As we turn to chapter 4, Paul moves from rejoicing and praising into instructions and exhortation. He gives them a vision for how they can actually live out this prayer. Look at verses 1 through 3:
“Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification.”
1 Thessalonians 4:1-3 (NASB)
Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us [instruction] as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by [the authority of] the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; [that is], that you abstain from sexual immorality;
If you are looking for the big idea tonight, it is simply this: God’s will for our lives is our sanctification.
You get the sense that Paul is urging them with all his might. He desperately wants to see these young believers live to please God by living in His will, and His will is sanctification.
Justification and Sanctification
What does sanctification mean exactly? The Greek word is hagiasmos, which literally means consecration, dedication, or holiness. The root word hagios means to be set apart to God or by God. The idea is to be totally set apart for God’s glory and His purposes.
When we put our faith in Christ, we are instantaneously forgiven and set apart. Our sins—past, present, and future—are forgiven in Christ. The Bible calls this justification: justification by faith. Christ took the wrath of God upon Himself, paid the price for our sins on the cross, was buried, and was raised to life. When we put our faith and trust in Him as Lord and Savior, we are forgiven. Justification is entirely the work of God. That legal standing before God is identical for every single follower of Jesus, whether someone trusted Christ at age four and is now one hundred, or like the thief on the cross who trusted Christ hours before he died. Justification is the same, and it is entirely a work of God.
Sanctification, however, is a lifelong process. Christ’s righteousness is imputed to us at the moment of faith, but to live that out and be conformed to the image of Christ is a lifetime process of becoming more and more like Jesus in our attitudes and actions, our character and our conduct.
Romans 8:29 (NASB)
For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined [to become] conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
While justification is entirely the work of God, in sanctification we join God. There is an intentional effort on our part to join the Holy Spirit in what He is doing in us and through us—aligning our lives, adjusting our decisions, and living according to God’s will revealed in His Word.
Wayne Grudem, in his Systematic Theology, defines it this way: “Sanctification is a progressive work of God and man that makes us more and more free from sin and like Christ in our actual lives.” As we delight in the Lord, spend time in His Word, worship, pray, and serve Him, He sets us apart for His purposes. He instills His values, desires, and concerns within us, shaping us to become more like Christ.
Room to Grow: Excelling Still More
Paul adds a couple of key points in these opening verses. He notes that these instructions come by the authority of the Lord Jesus. While we walk in a love relationship with Christ, He is Lord. He has the authority to direct our lives, and His commands are always for His glory and our good. He loves us enough to tell us how to live.
Paul also encourages them: “just as you actually do walk, that you excel still more.” They were already walking in a way that pleased God; Paul simply urges them to keep growing. That is a great reminder for us. None of us would claim to be perfect, and some of us beat ourselves up. But look back and ask: How have I changed from a year ago, two years ago, or three years ago? Maybe I’m not yet who I need to be, but thank God I’m not who I used to be! Growth can always continue.
When I was a young man, I used to wish I could grow taller. Believe it or not, after I graduated high school, I actually grew an inch—which qualified me to still be short! I am not going to grow any taller physically; statistics suggest I will probably shrink as the years go by. But in a relationship with Jesus Christ, we always have the opportunity to grow. It never stops.
For perfectionist types, that might feel frustrating because you want to know when you will be one hundred percent Christlike. That won’t fully happen in this life. But the beauty is that we can always expand our capacity to love, grow in our faith, be filled with greater hope, experience more of the Holy Spirit’s power, and deepen our fellowship with God. Physically, our bodies deteriorate, but spiritually, we can remain vibrant and grow even more alive as we age.
Getting Specific: Abstaining from Sexual Immorality
If we stopped right here, most of us would say, “Amen! Hallelujah! We want to be like Christ! Sanctification sounds great.” But Paul gets specific and personal. He steps right into our everyday lives in the second half of verse 3:
“…that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality…”
1 Thessalonians 4:3 (NASB)
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; [that is], that you abstain from sexual immorality;
The Greek word translated “sexual immorality” is porneia, which is the root of our word pornography. It covers a wide range of sexual sins—anything outside the covenant marriage relationship between a man and a woman, whether in physical actions, dwelling thoughts, or speech.
Knowing God’s will is clear; the challenge lies in applying it. To abstain means to keep distant from it, avoid it, stay free from it, and flee from it.
Let me be clear: sex is something God created, and it is very good when enjoyed within the context He designed—a covenant marriage between a husband and a wife. God created it to continue the human race, but also as a profound bond of intimacy. It is a way for a husband and wife to inaugurate and renew their marriage covenant. (And if you are married, you should renew that covenant frequently—don’t treat it like the DMV and renew once a year!)
The problem in our world is that we want the intimacy without the covenant. That was just as true in the Roman Empire when Paul wrote this. Immorality was a widespread way of life. Pagan worship services routinely integrated sexual rituals, orgies, prostitution, and brothels. Choosing not to participate was socially costly. People viewed Christians with suspicion, asking, “Why won’t you participate in our worship? You are going to bring down the wrath of the gods on our city!” These young believers faced intense social pressure and opposition.
Paul starts here because sexual purity is a vital battleground, both then and now. Sexual desire is a natural drive God placed within us, which makes it one of the easiest areas to distort. Sadly, sexual brokenness is rampant in the church today. Recent studies by the Barna Group show that 62% of teenagers ages 13 to 17 have received a sexual image on their phone, 72% of Christian young adults ages 18 to 24 actively seek out internet pornography, three out of five Christian divorces cite porn as a major factor, and 57% of pastors admit to struggling with pornography.
Beyond statistics, we all know we have been touched by sexual brokenness—either our own or the brokenness of others. The enemy loves to take something beautiful that God designed, twist it, and keep us trapped in shame and darkness. But our God calls us into the light. He knows everything about us; nothing is hidden from Him. And yet, He reaches out to say, “I want to heal you and grow you in sanctification.”
Paul is writing to believers who live under grace. You are in the family of God, loved and chosen. Because He loves you, He will not leave you where you are; He calls you out of brokenness into His healing.
Self-Control Through Relationship with God
What God commands is challenging, but it is entirely possible. Look at verses 4 and 5:
“…that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God…”
1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 (NASB)
that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
The word “vessel” refers to our bodies. Paul is saying: exercise self-control over your physical body.
Don’t buy into the lie that you have no self-control. Right now, sitting in this room, you are exercising self-control. You are not pulling up porn on your phone or pursuing an affair during church. You possess self-control.
You might think, “Sure, it’s easy here at church, but what about when I walk out those doors?” Sometimes exercising self-control simply means getting out of the situation entirely—fleeing before temptation overwhelms you.
Think of Joseph in Genesis 39. Sold into slavery, Joseph worked in Potiphar’s house. Potiphar trusted him completely. When Potiphar’s wife repeatedly propositioned Joseph, saying, “Lie with me,” Joseph refused every single day, recognizing that doing so would be a betrayal of his master and a sin against God.
Genesis 39:7-9 (NASB)
It came about after these events that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, ‘Lie with me.’ But he refused and said to his master’s wife, ’Behold, with me [here], my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. ‘There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?’
When she trapped him by his garment, Joseph didn’t negotiate—he ran for his life. He fled youthful lusts, even though it cost him his freedom and landed him in prison.
2 Timothy 2:22 (NASB)
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love [and] peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
Sexual self-control is possible because we know God. Verse 5 tells us that when we abandon self-control, we live like those who do not know God. How we handle our sexuality directly reflects who or what we worship. When we give in, we are functionally saying, “God, You don’t matter right now.”
Because we know God, He provides the power to walk in self-control. This is not about white-knuckled, “try harder” willpower Christianity. As we walk closely with God, He softens our hearts, instills new desires, and transforms us from the inside out. We will still face temptation, but the Holy Spirit does a deep transformative work within us.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of human willpower.
When I started in ministry in 1999, I served alongside a pastor named Merle Christiansen, who had been in ministry for fifty years. Early in my ministry, I watched several pastors fall into immorality or burnout. I took Merle to lunch and asked him, “How have you managed to last fifty years in pastoral ministry and keep your integrity?”
Without missing a beat, he looked at me and said, “The Word of God and on my knees.”
That is what it takes: a life immersed in God’s Word and a life on our knees in honest prayer, asking God to make our desires match His.
In his book The Forgotten Blessing, Dr. Henry Holloman compares our growth in sanctification to a tree: our inward moral character is like a tree’s root system. The deeper the roots grow underground, the stronger and healthier the tree appears above ground. Developing inward character through sanctification produces spiritual growth that visibly reflects God’s character.
Trees don’t grow overnight. If you pull up a chair in front of a peach tree, you will get bored quickly trying to watch it grow. But return weeks or months later, and you will see ripening fruit. Developing self-control takes time. Rejoice in the areas where you are growing and trust God’s ongoing work.
The Ripple Effect of Selfish Choices
Paul moves forward in verse 6 with a sobering warning:
“…and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.”
1 Thessalonians 4:6 (NASB)
[and] that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is [the] avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned [you].
Here is a crucial truth: people are hurt by our selfish sexual decisions.
Earlier today, I saw a woman walking a large dog near my house. The dog made a mess on someone’s front lawn, and the woman simply walked away, leaving it right there. Someone else was going to have to deal with that mess. With much higher stakes, the exact same thing happens when we make selfish sexual choices.
In seminary, my professor gave our class a sobering assignment: “If you are ever tempted to have an affair in ministry, sit down first, close your eyes, and imagine being found out. Picture the look on your spouse’s face. Picture the faces of your children, your coworkers, and your congregation. Imagine the immense pain your selfish choice will cause in their lives.”
Sexual sin defrauds and wounds our brothers and sisters in Christ. Spouses are deeply betrayed. Even private, digital fantasy worlds reduce real people—created in the image of God—into disposable objects for selfish pleasure. When high-profile leaders fall sexually, the name of Jesus is mocked, and the entire body of Christ suffers. Ultimately, we hurt ourselves by distorting our ability to view others as image bearers of God.
Paul warns that “the Lord is the avenger in all these things.” God takes this seriously.
Hebrews 13:4 (NASB)
Marriage [is to be held] in honor among all, and the [marriage] bed [is to be] undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Being loved unconditionally by God does not mean our behavior is exempt from consequences. While there is no condemnation for those in Christ, our choices carry real-world fallout: broken marriages, fractured families, lost influence, financial ruin, and deep emotional pain. God disciplines those He loves, just as any good parent guides their children.
Embracing God’s Presence and Purpose
Look at verses 7 and 8:
“For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.”
1 Thessalonians 4:7-8 (NASB)
For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects [this] is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
Sanctification happens when we embrace God’s purpose and presence in our lives.
Years ago, a college student came to my office frustrated with God: “God won’t show me His will! I don’t know what major to pick, what career to pursue, or what to do with my relationship.” As we talked, he openly admitted that viewing pornography was a daily habit in his life.
I told him, “God’s will for your life is already clear in Scripture: your sanctification and purity. Why not align your life with what God has already clearly commanded? As you walk in obedience to His revealed will, clarity for the gray areas—like your college major—will follow.”
Often we ask God to reveal His specific will for our circumstances while ignoring what He has clearly revealed in His Word.
When we reject purity, we are not rejecting human rules; we are rejecting God Himself, who gave us His Holy Spirit. But there is tremendous hope in verse 8: God gives us His Spirit! The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives within us.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NASB)
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
Because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, Jesus is with us wherever we go. We can grieve the Spirit through willful sin, but we can also honor Him.
Ephesians 4:30 (NASB)
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Within covenant marriage, sexual intimacy between two believers is an honoring, worshipful expression of love. And in moments of temptation, the Holy Spirit provides the power to recall God’s truth, reshape our desires, and lead us into freedom.
Taught by God to Love
Paul shifts our attention in verses 9 and 10:
“Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more…”
1 Thessalonians 4:9-10 (NASB)
Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for [anyone] to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more,
We learn how to love from God Himself. Jesus taught us about love throughout the Gospels, and He demonstrated it supremely on the cross by laying down His life for our sins. Real biblical love is not just a feeling; it is action.
Romans 5:5 (NASB)
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
God pours His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. Paul commended the Thessalonians for their generous hospitality and care across the region of Macedonia, yet he challenged them to “excel still more.”
There is always room to grow in love. Sometimes God tests and stretches our capacity to love by placing challenging people in our lives—sometimes under our very own roofs! Those moments teach us to rely on God’s endless well of love rather than our own limited patience.
Sanctifying Everyday Work
In verses 11 and 12, Paul shows how sanctification impacts our daily routines:
“…and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders and not be in any need.”
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (NASB)
and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders and not be in any need.
Every area of our lives can be transformed by God, including our work. In Greco-Roman culture, manual labor was looked down upon, but the Christian faith dignifies honest work. Paul was a tentmaker; Jesus was a carpenter.
By working responsibly, living quietly, and providing for our families, we display the gospel to outsiders. Furthermore, when we view our workplace as a sphere dedicated to God’s glory, we protect ourselves against workplace affairs by choosing to see coworkers as image bearers rather than objects.
Walking into Freedom
As we close, consider four practical takeaways:
- Sexual sanctification increases our capacity to love others. It trains us to value people as precious image bearers of God.
- If you are married, prioritize loving your spouse. Your spiritual growth is directly reflected in how you treat your spouse. If you need help, seek out marriage resources and support.
- Restore struggling brothers and sisters in love. Do not gossip about someone caught in sexual sin. Lovingly help them find restoration, just as the prophet Nathan confronted David with grace and truth.
Galatians 6:1 (NASB)
Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; [each one] looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
- Admit that you need help. If you have tried to fight sexual sin on your own willpower and failed, stop hiding in shame. God is for you, not against you. Jesus said the poor in spirit are blessed.
Matthew 5:3 (NASB)
’Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
In Luke 18, it was the humble tax collector crying out for mercy who went home justified, not the self-righteous Pharisee.
Luke 18:13-14 (NASB)
’But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ ‘I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.’
Do not stay in the dark. Our church family, life groups, and recovery ministries like Regen exist to provide safe, healing community where captives are set free. God loves you too much to leave you where you are.
Let’s make King David’s prayer of repentance in Psalm 51 our own prayer tonight:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will be converted to You.”
Psalms 51:10-13 (NASB)
Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit. [Then] I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You.
Amen.