Not My Will / Mark 14:32-42
If you would go ahead and pick up your Bibles and turn to Mark chapter 14. We are going to be looking at verses 32 through 42 today.
As you are turning there, let me ask a question. I think I know the answer, but have you ever had a stressful time? I know, it is a silly question. Of course we have had stressful times—some of us more stressful than others. Have you ever faced something where you knew it was going to be painful? You knew it was going to be a season of intense suffering.
Surveys come out from time to time listing the most stressful situations people can experience. Some of the top ones are losing your job, an unexpected or forced move, or a broken relationship—whether with a spouse, a child, or a close friend. Those things are deeply painful. And right near the top is the death of someone you love.
When I think about that, I remember when my dad died when I was 13 years old. I remember what my family walked through. Truthfully, at 13, I do not think I felt the full weight of it as much as I saw it in my mother’s face and in what she endured. But when my mother passed away about eleven years ago, I understood what she had felt, because I was so close to my mom. Those are incredibly stressful times.
The Weight of Spiritual Guilt
What makes it even tougher when we go through those seasons as Christians is that we often feel rotten about how we are feeling. Do you know what I mean? If I am stressed out, I think, Why am I stressed out? It must be because I am not trusting God. If I were really trusting God through this, I wouldn’t feel all this distress. I would have this calm, peaceful feeling. So not only is my circumstance broken, but now there is something wrong with my faith. I am not trusting Him enough.
When we feel deep sadness or depression, we think, I am failing to rely on God. If I remembered He was with me, I wouldn’t feel this way. I blew it again. And if you face a trial and realize, I really do not want to go through what God is asking me to go through, we assume that means we do not love Him enough. Because if we loved Him enough, we would automatically want whatever He wants, right?
If all of that is true, then Jesus blew it. If that kind of thinking is correct, then Jesus did something wrong.
Did you know that Jesus felt overwhelmingly distressed? He was filled with intense sorrow and anxiety. He was deeply grieved. And get this: Jesus did not want to do what His Father was asking Him to do. Did you know that? Some of us might think, Wait, didn’t Jesus always want to do the will of the Father? Not according to Mark chapter 14.
A Glimpse into Gethsemane
Let’s look at verse 32, right where we left off last week. Jesus has just shared the Passover meal with His disciples, instituting what we call the Lord’s Supper. Afterward, they leave Jerusalem and cross over to the Mount of Olives. In that area, there is a garden place called Gethsemane.
Mark 14:32-34 (NASB)
They came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, ‘Sit here until I have prayed.’ And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. And He said to them, ‘My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch.’
Jesus tells the larger group to sit while He prays, but He takes Peter, James, and John—His three closest friends—a little further with Him. You get the sense that this is an intensely intimate moment. He brings His closest companions alongside Him, and then the text says He began to be “very distressed and troubled.”
It is almost as if Jesus reaches a place with His closest friends where He can finally let it out. That phrase very distressed points to an excessive, overwhelming emotion—not happiness, but severe distress. The word troubled means to be overcome with acute anxiety and anguish. Jesus was experiencing so much distress that His disciples could probably see it instantly. Imagine being them—you have never seen Jesus fall apart like this. Suddenly, emotionally, He is overwhelmed.
Look at what He tells them in verse 34: “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death.” He was experiencing a mood of absolute despair, saying in essence, I feel so crushed right now I could just die.
Why was Jesus in such anguish? Because He knew what was coming the next day. In just a few hours, He would go to the cross to fulfill the mission the Father had given Him. He had known this was coming all along, but now the hour had finally arrived.
You know how it is when you know a difficult event is coming in the future. As long as it is far off, you think, I can handle that. But when the day arrives, the reality hits you.
I think about my wedding day. When I proposed to Sherry—and don’t ask me how I did it, it was embarrassing; I pretended I was breaking up with her first, which was terrible and probably caused her massive stress, though I thought it was original at the time—I spent months looking forward to the wedding. But when the actual day came, I had that classic groom moment where I realized, Oh, this is actually happening right now. I was stressed out, not because I had any doubts about Sherry, but because I had so many doubts about myself. I thought, Can I really carry the responsibility of being a husband?
Jesus was not worried about personal inadequacy, but the horrific reality of what He was about to endure had arrived.
Fully God, Fully Human
Some of us might find it shocking that Jesus was distressed. After all, He is the Son of God. God doesn’t get stressed, right? But we must remember that while Jesus never ceased being God, He came to this earth as a real human being. He did not merely wear human flesh like a costume. He took on genuine human nature with all the physical limitations and emotional capacities of humanity.
Hebrews 2:17 (NASB)
Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.
Jesus lived in complete, 100 percent dependence upon the Father and the Holy Spirit. He said He could do nothing apart from the Father. In Genesis 3, humanity traded dependence on God for independence and sin. Jesus came to show us what true humanity was always meant to be: a life lived in absolute dependence upon the Father. That is why He went to pray.
Jesus was reacting as a human being facing unfathomable physical, emotional, and spiritual agony. He felt so overwhelmed that He wished the pain would stop right then. He did not want to go through it. And it was okay that He felt that way. It was okay for Jesus to feel grief, distress, and deep anguish.
That truth is so freeing: it is okay if you feel that way, too. Feeling overwhelmed, sad, or distressed does not mean your faith is broken. It means you are human.
Honest, Dependent Prayer
Notice what Jesus did with His anguish. When we face seasons where we do not want what God has for us, our natural inclination is often to retreat from God. We pull back. Sometimes we blame Him or avoid Him because He is the one allowing the pain. But Jesus did the exact opposite: He engaged the Father.
Mark 14:35-36 (NASB)
And He went a little beyond [them], and fell to the ground and [began] to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, ‘Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.’
Jesus fell to the ground. My friend Mike, who has been teaching through Mark with us, pointed out that the language suggests a repeated falling. Have you ever been so weighed down by grief that you could barely walk? You take a few steps, drop to your knees, get up, and collapse again. That is the picture here.
And He begins to pray. He did not use a rigid, formulaic prayer. He was completely honest with His Father. He asked if it were possible for the hour to pass Him by. Have you ever felt that way? Lord, can we just skip the next few days and jump straight to the resurrection? Can I just take a nap like Rip Van Winkle and wake up when this trial is over?
Mark records His exact words: “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.”
Abba is an intimate, tender term—like calling someone “Daddy” or “Papa.” Jesus appeals directly to His Father’s love and relationship. Then He appeals to His Father’s power: “all things are possible for You.” He knows God has the power to change the plan. So He asks: “Remove this cup from Me.” He is talking about the cup of suffering, the terrifying reality of bearing the sins of the world and experiencing the crushing weight of separation on the cross.
And then Jesus says that pivotal word: Yet.
“Yet not what I will, but what You will.”
Do you see what is happening here? Jesus’s human will was not naturally identical to the Father’s will in this moment. He did not want to endure the cross. And prayer did not magically make Him say, You know what, on second thought, tomorrow is going to be fun! He did not change His preference; He chose to set His will aside. He said, This is not what I want. But if You choose not to remove it, I choose what You want.
Love and Power
How did Jesus find the strength to surrender His will? Ironically, it was by holding onto the very two attributes He had just appealed to: the Father’s love and the Father’s power.
Jesus knew: My Father loves Me, and My Father has all power. Therefore, if He chooses not to remove this cup, it is not because He lacks the power to stop it. It must be because this cup is ultimately what is best.
The next day, Jesus told Pilate, “You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above.” Jesus knew His Father was still in complete control. And because His Father loved Him, this path of suffering would ultimately bring about the redemption of humanity, the glory of the Son, and the glory of the Father.
Watch and Pray
When Jesus finishes praying, He returns to find Peter, James, and John asleep.
Mark 14:37-38 (NASB)
And He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, ’Simon, are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? ‘Keep watching and praying that you may not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’
Even in the middle of His own agony, Jesus shows tremendous care for His disciples. He warns them that human willpower is not enough. The spirit may be willing, but the flesh is weak. Just as Jesus needed to depend on the Father through prayer to face His hour, the disciples needed dependent prayer to stand against temptation.
This is the secret to enduring the seasons of life we hate. When life is crushing and you do not want what lies ahead, do not run from God. Go to Him. Be completely honest. Tell Him, Lord, this hurts. This is too heavy. I don’t know how to get through this.
Appeal to His love: Abba, You are my Father. You love me and care for me as Your child.
Appeal to His power: You can do all things. You can remove this trial right now. Please do it.
Go to Him as many times as it takes. Jesus went back three times, praying the very same thing. God does not get tired of hearing from you.
And after you have poured out your heart, rest in those same two truths. Because He loves you and because He is all-powerful, if He does not remove the trial, you can trust that He is working through it for your good. Romans 8 tells us that God uses all things to conform us into the image of His Son.
Romans 8:28-29 (NASB)
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to [His] purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined [to become] conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
If God can accomplish His will in your life while taking away the suffering, ask Him—I believe He will. But if He does not take it away, you can be equally confident that walking through it is the best way for Him to accomplish His purpose in you.
“Get Up, Let Us Go”
Look at how this passage concludes in verses 41 and 42.
Mark 14:41-42 (NASB)
And He came the third time, and said to them, ’Are you still sleeping and resting? It is enough; the hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. ‘Get up, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!’
After wrestling in prayer three times, Jesus says, “It is enough. The hour has come… Get up, let us be going.” The dread has not made the cross pleasant, but through prayer, Jesus resolved to walk forward in absolute trust.
You can do that too. You might say it with tears in your eyes, and your emotional preference might not change, but you can set your will aside and say, Father, I trust You. I will walk where You lead.
Let’s go to Him in prayer right now.
Lord, thank You for Your Word. This is such a sobering and powerful passage. We are amazed at how Jesus, Your Son, lived as a real human being, showing us what it looks like to be entirely dependent on You.
Father, I pray for those of us in this room who have been avoiding You because of the suffering You have allowed in our lives. Change our hearts tonight. Give us the courage to run toward You, to be honest about our pain, and to appeal to Your love and Your power. Help us to ask boldly for relief, yet rest securely in Your goodness if the trial remains.
Thank You that we can bring our real emotions to You, lay aside our will, and trust You completely. In Jesus’ name, Amen.