John 20:1-3, 11-18 - Why Are You Weeping?
The Two Questions
Thank you so much for leading us, Chase. I love that song, just singing the Psalms out. Sometimes it really is easier to memorize God’s Word when you are singing it, and there is so much scripture we can sing.
Before we open up the Word tonight, I have a question for you: Do you remember the last time you cried? Think about it for a minute. Some of you might say, “Today. Right now.” Others might be thinking, “Maybe twenty years ago.”
I will tell you a little story from my life. Last weekend, my wife, Chris, and I were heading up to Fremont. Our son, Noah, is a mechanical engineer up there, and we were driving up to visit him. On the way up, I like to put our music library on shuffle just to see what comes up. It is an eclectic blend—a little worship, some instrumental, some hip hop, maybe a little country. As we were driving, a song came on that I had not heard in a very long time. It was a country song by Lee Bryce called “A Woman Like You.”
As the song played, all of a sudden, I found myself crying. Chris looked over at me and asked, “Why are you crying?” In the song, the singer’s wife asks him where he would be if he had never met her. He lists all the fun things he might have done, but the song concludes with the honest admission that without her, he would just be a total mess. I looked at Chris and said, “That’s me. I would be such a mess without you.” She actually loves to watch me cry because when we first got married, I hardly ever cried. Maybe if the buffet line ran out of plates, but other than that, not much got to me.
Tonight, we are continuing in our series, Questions That Jesus Asked. We are going to look at the question He asked Mary Magdalene in John chapter 20: “Why are you weeping?”
With that title, you might assume this entire message is going to be about things that make us cry. It is not. We will address that topic because it is important, but that is not the heart of the message. In fact, Jesus asks Mary two questions in John 20. He asks her, “Why are you weeping?” and He also asks her, “Whom are you seeking?”
As we walk through the text today, my hope is that we will see this truth: how you answer the second question—whom are you seeking?—will determine how well you navigate the first question—why are you weeping?
The Empty Tomb and the Race to Believe
Let’s open our Bibles to John chapter 20. As you turn there, remember that this gospel was written by the Apostle John, who often refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” He was not boasting; he simply had a profoundly close relationship with Christ. During Jesus’ earthly ministry, John was arguably His closest friend. Most scholars believe John wrote this gospel around 90 AD from Ephesus, addressing both Jewish and Gentile believers.
We begin in verse 1:
“Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.”
John 20:1 (NASB)
Now on the first [day] of the week Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb, while it was still dark, and saw the stone [already] taken away from the tomb.
Mary arrives early, likely between five and six in the morning. For those of us here in Fresno, we understand that in the summer, if you want temperatures under eighty degrees, you have to get up that early! It was the first day of the week, Sunday morning. Prior to this morning, there was nothing sacred about Sunday; the Jewish Sabbath was Saturday. But this day would become known as the Lord’s Day because Jesus rose from the grave on a Sunday, forever changing how God’s people gather to worship.
In the chapters leading up to this moment, Jesus had entered Jerusalem to cheering crowds on Palm Sunday. Yet within a week, He was betrayed, arrested, tried, beaten, scourged, and crucified. After His death, Joseph of Arimathea—a secret follower of Jesus and a wealthy man—placed Jesus’ body in his own new tomb. This fulfilled the ancient prophecy in Isaiah 53 that the Messiah would be with the rich in His death.
Isaiah 53:9 (NASB)
His grave was assigned with wicked men, Yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.
Nicodemus accompanied Joseph, bringing seventy-five pounds of myrrh and aloes to wrap the body in linen strips with adhesive spices. Luke and John both record that Mary Magdalene and other women witnessed the burial. But now, returning after the Sabbath, Mary is stunned to find the massive, multi-ton stone rolled away from the entrance.
“So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, ‘They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.’”
John 20:2 (NASB)
So she ran and came to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and said to them, ‘They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.’
Mary assumes grave robbers or Roman authorities moved the body. In her distress, she runs to find Peter and John. Upon hearing her news, both disciples sprint toward the tomb.
“So Peter went out with the other disciple, and they were going toward the tomb. Both of them were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. And stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb.”
John 20:3-6 (NASB)
So Peter and the other disciple went forth, and they were going to the tomb. The two were running together; and the other disciple ran ahead faster than Peter and came to the tomb first; and stooping and looking in, he saw the linen wrappings lying [there]; but he did not go in. And so Simon Peter also came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he saw the linen wrappings lying [there],
John makes sure to record that he outran Peter! But when they reach the tomb, Peter, with his characteristic boldness, enters first. That was a risky move; there could have been armed soldiers or robbers waiting inside. But what they see stops them in their tracks.
“He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus’ head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed.”
John 20:6-8 (NASB)
And so Simon Peter also came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he saw the linen wrappings lying [there], and the face-cloth which had been on His head, not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself. So the other disciple who had first come to the tomb then also entered, and he saw and believed.
There was no sign of violence or grave robbery. If someone had stolen the body, they would not have taken the time to unwrap seventy-five pounds of sticky, spiced linen and neatly fold the head cloth by itself. The linen wraps were lying there like an empty cocoon.
In the original Greek, three different words are used for “seeing” in this passage. When Mary looked, the word means to simply glance or notice. When Peter looked, the word means to observe and inspect carefully. But when John looked, the word means to perceive with intelligent comprehension and deep belief.
John illustrates a vital spiritual truth: faith begins at a specific moment of initial belief, but it is meant to deepen over time into mature comprehension. Some of you might be at the very beginning of that journey, checking out who Jesus is. Others of you have believed for decades, but you are walking through seasons of doubt. Wherever you find yourself, God invites you to grow in the depth of your belief.
Yet, even with what John saw, their understanding remained incomplete.
“For as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples went back to their homes.”
John 20:9-10 (NASB)
For as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead. So the disciples went away again to their own homes.
Standing in the Sorrow
If Peter and John had fully understood that Jesus was alive and walking around, they would not have gone home to eat breakfast. They would have searched everywhere for Him. But they went home. Mary, however, stayed.
“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb.”
John 20:11 (NASB)
But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stooped and looked into the tomb;
Mary walks back to the garden. She has no idea what Peter and John discovered inside. All she knows is that the body of the One who saved her is gone.
Jesus had radically transformed Mary’s life. Luke 8 tells us that Jesus had cast seven demons out of her. Imagine the torment, chaos, and fear that defined her existence before meeting Christ. Coming from Magdala, a town associated with moral brokenness, she carried a heavy past. Yet Jesus delivered her, cleansed her, and gave her a completely new beginning. Nothing in your past is too dark for the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
Luke 8:2 (NASB)
and [also] some women who had been healed of evil spirits and sicknesses: Mary who was called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out,
Because Mary loved Jesus deeply, her sorrow was overwhelming. The Greek word for weeping here refers to loud, audible, unrestrained mourning—what we might call an “ugly cry.”
I remember when my mom, Esther, passed away a little over three years ago. Her health had been declining for years, and she was in hospice in our home. We read scripture over her, sang, and had all those precious final moments. She took her last breath while her favorite worship song was playing. I thought I was emotionally prepared. But the moment her heart stopped, an uncontrollable eruption of grief overtook me. I wept openly, completely oblivious to anyone else in the room.
That is where Mary is. Yet notice her resolve. The text says she “stood” weeping. In the original grammar, this verb indicates an immovable steadfastness. Even in her heartbreak, she was determined to remain at the last place where Jesus’ body had been.
There is a profound lesson for us here: when you are in so much pain and confusion that you do not know what to do, simply draw near to Jesus. Stay near to Him.
“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”
Psalms 145:18 (NASB)
The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.
“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”
James 4:8 (NASB)
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Mary did not possess full theological clarity yet, but she possessed a heart that wanted to be near Christ. Because of that devotion, God honored her. In a culture where a woman’s testimony carried no legal weight in court, God chose Mary Magdalene to be the very first human witness of the resurrected Lord. If the gospel writers were inventing a myth, they never would have named a woman as the primary witness. This detail stands as a testament to the historical truth of the resurrection.
The Mercy Seat and the Gardener
As Mary stands weeping, she leans forward to look inside the tomb.
“And as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet.”
John 20:11-12 (NASB)
But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stooped and looked into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and one at the feet, where the body of Jesus had been lying.
Mary sees two figures in radiant white, though she does not immediately recognize them as angels. Notice their positioning: one seated at the head, and one at the feet of where Jesus had lain.
This imagery directly parallels the Mercy Seat described in Exodus 25. God instructed Moses to build the Ark of the Covenant, and on top of it was the Mercy Seat made of pure gold, flanked by two cherubim—one at each end.
“There I will meet with you, and from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubim that are on the ark of the testimony, I will speak with you.”
Exodus 25:22 (NASB)
’There I will meet with you; and from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubim which are upon the ark of the testimony, I will speak to you about all that I will give you in commandment for the sons of Israel.
In the Old Testament, the High Priest could only enter the Holy of Holies once a year to sprinkle blood on the Mercy Seat for the atonement of sins. But here, inside the empty tomb of Jesus, two angels sit at either end of where the sacrifice had been laid. God was declaring that the final atonement had been accomplished once and for all. Access to the presence of God is now open to anyone who comes through Jesus Christ.
“They said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?’ She said to them, ‘They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.’”
John 20:13 (NASB)
And they said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?’ She said to them, ‘Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.’
On the surface, the angels’ question might seem insensitive. If you see someone weeping at a gravesite, you usually do not ask, “Why are you crying?” But the angels ask because they know the rest of the story. They are gently leading her from sorrow to unshakeable hope.
Mary turns away from the tomb, and suddenly someone else is standing in front of her.
“Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?’ Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, ‘Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.’”
John 20:14-15 (NASB)
When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing [there], and did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?’ Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, ‘Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.’
Why didn’t Mary recognize Him? Perhaps her vision was blurred by heavy tears, or the early morning light was dim. Or perhaps, as with the disciples on the road to Emmaus, her eyes were temporarily kept from recognizing Him.
Desperate in her grief, she offers to carry the body away herself—even though a body wrapped in seventy-five pounds of burial spices would weigh close to two hundred pounds. Grief makes us desperate.
The Place for Mourning
Notice that neither the angels nor Jesus rebuke Mary for crying.
Is there a place for grieving and weeping in the Christian life? Absolutely. Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount:
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 (NASB)
’Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
God created us with emotions. Emotional and spiritual maturity is not the absence of feelings; it is the capacity to process and express emotions in a healthy, God-honoring way. Even medical science confirms this. Recent studies from Harvard Health point out that suppressing grief and emotional pain damages our health, weakening our immune system and raising the risk of cardiovascular disease. Crying is a God-given mechanism to release stress and invite empathy and connection from others.
God does not despise our brokenness; He draws near to it.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Psalms 34:18 (NASB)
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
However, while believers experience real grief, we do not grieve like the rest of the world.
“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13 (NASB)
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.
When Jesus stood at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, He looked at the sorrow of Mary and Martha, and scripture gives us the shortest and one of the most profound verses in the Bible:
“Jesus wept.”
John 11:35 (NASB)
Jesus wept.
Why did Jesus weep if He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead? He wept because He felt genuine empathy for their heartbreak, and He wept over the tragedy of death, which entered our world through sin. Yet Jesus wept with profound hope, declaring:
“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”
John 11:25-26 (NASB)
Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?’
As a pastor, I have officiated many funerals. There is an unmistakable difference between a funeral for someone who knew Christ and one for someone who did not. Without Christ, grief carries a terrible finality, a dark step into the unknown. But for the believer, even in deep sorrow, there is an undercurrent of indestructible joy. We know we will see our loved ones again, and we know they are in the presence of the Savior who will one day wipe away every tear.
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:4 (NASB)
and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be [any] death; there will no longer be [any] mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.’
Called by Name
Mary was about to experience the first rays of that eternal hope.
“Jesus said to her, ‘Mary.’ She turned and said to him in Aramaic, ‘Rabboni!’ (which means Teacher).”
John 20:16 (NASB)
Jesus said to her, ‘Mary!’ She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, ‘Rabboni!’ (which means, Teacher).
The moment Jesus spoke her name, everything changed. Her blindness vanished. Her weeping turned to astonishment, and her despair transformed into pure joy.
Jesus had described Himself as the Good Shepherd who knows His flock intimately:
“The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.”
John 10:3 (NASB)
’To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
Centuries earlier, God had promised through the prophet Isaiah:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”
Isaiah 43:1 (NASB)
But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, ’Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!
Mary had been searching for a dead corpse, but she was met by the living, reigning Lord who knew her by name.
“Jesus said to her, ‘Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.”’ Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, ‘I have seen the Lord’—and that he had said these things to her.“
John 20:17-18 (NASB)
Jesus said to her, ’Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.’’ Mary Magdalene came, announcing to the disciples, ‘I have seen the Lord,’ and [that] He had said these things to her.
When Jesus tells her not to cling to Him, He is not being cold. He is reassuring her that He is not vanishing immediately, but He is also signaling a transition. The way they relate to Him is changing. He will ascend to the Father and send the Holy Spirit to dwell inside every believer.
Notice that for the first time, Jesus calls His disciples “my brothers.” Prior to the resurrection, He called them servants and friends. Now, through His finished work on the cross, they are adopted into the family of God as sons and daughters, sharing in His eternal inheritance.
And with that new identity comes a commission: “Go and tell.”
Whom Are You Seeking?
This brings us back to the two questions Jesus asked Mary:
Why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?
Will you allow Jesus to ask those two questions of your heart tonight?
First: Why are you weeping? What is causing you pain, confusion, or heartache right now? What makes it difficult for you to trust God?
When I reflect on that question in my own life, I think about the regret I sometimes wrestle with. I think about the brokenness of our culture and the world my grown kids and future grandchildren will navigate. I think about the aches of getting older and the loss of people I love. We all carry reasons for grief in a fallen world.
But the second question is the one that changes everything: Whom are you seeking?
What fills your thoughts? What drives your ambitions? Where are you looking for ultimate fulfillment, peace, and security? Are you seeking fulfillment in possessions, power, approval, or pleasure? Those things always overpromise and underdeliver.
Scripture calls us to set our gaze on the Lord:
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!”
Psalms 105:4 (NASB)
Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:13 (NASB)
’You will seek Me and find [Me] when you search for Me with all your heart.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33 (NASB)
’But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Mary was seeking a dead body, but she found the living Christ. And when you seek Jesus with all your heart, you discover the One who knows your name, who bore your sins, and who conquered death on your behalf.
One day, every person who trusts in Christ will see Him face to face. In Revelation 22, the culmination of all heaven’s promises is described in four simple words:
“They will see his face.”
Revelation 22:4 (NASB)
they will see His face, and His name [will be] on their foreheads.
In that moment, every longing of your soul will find its eternal rest.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalms 16:11 (NASB)
You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Recently, I was walking out to the parking lot at our North Campus to head over to the Fig Campus. I ran into one of our staff members, Danae Niles, who leads our elementary ministry at Fig, along with her two young kids, June and Patrick. They saw me, smiled, and said hello. But a second later, their eyes got wide, their smiles stretched from ear to ear, and they sprinted right past me at full speed.
I turned around and saw why: their dad, Jordan, was standing right behind me. The moment they saw their father, nothing else mattered. They ran straight into his arms.
That is what it looks like to seek God. When we catch a glimpse of the presence and love of our Heavenly Father, everything else fades into the background.
Someone once put it this way: Glance at the world, but gaze at God. So often we live with that completely backward—we gaze at the world, our problems, our screens, and our anxieties, and we only glance at God for an hour on Sunday. Let’s flip that. Let’s gaze at the living Christ and glance at the world.
How will the truth that Christ is risen speak into your life today?
Let’s pray.
Father, thank You for Your Word. Thank You that Jesus Christ is alive, that the tomb is empty, and that death has been defeated. I pray for every person here tonight. Wherever they are in their journey of faith—whether they are investigating the gospel, struggling with doubts, or standing firm in their walk—draw near to them. Give us the courage to bring our weeping to You, and give us hearts that seek You above everything else. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.