Matthew 12:46-50 - Who Is My Mother? Who Are My Brothers?
As you’re finding your seats, you can take your Bibles and turn to Matthew chapter 12. We’re going to be starting at verse 46 and going through verse 50 tonight as we continue in our series, “Questions Jesus Asked.” Today’s question is: Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?
One evening when I was five years old, our family was just sitting down to dinner when the doorbell rang. My dad got up, answered the door, and there was a lady standing there holding the hand of a three-year-old little girl wearing a backpack. The lady talked to my dad for a few minutes and then left, leaving the little girl with us. My dad grabbed her hand, gently walked her over to the kitchen table where we were all seated, and said, “I’d like to introduce you to Sheila. She’s your new sister.”
I thought, I already have a sister, all right? Why do I need another one? The one I’ve got is bad enough! And how can this be my sister? Keep in mind, I’m five years old. Usually, when I get a sister, my mom comes home from the hospital with a tiny baby, not a three-year-old.
Then my dad went on to explain to all of us seated around the table that Sheila was our foster sister. She stayed with us for about a year, and when her biological mom’s situation improved, she went back to live with her. My parents were involved in foster care throughout my growing-up years. I had many different foster brothers and sisters, and for the time they were with us, they were truly part of our family.
Later on, my folks decided to adopt a foster brother and sister, Sean and Tracy. They changed their last names to Erickson, and they officially became part of our family. That is just like what happens when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Savior—we are adopted into God’s forever family.
Interrupted in the Middle of Ministry
Let’s look at Matthew chapter 12, starting at verse 46:
Matthew 12:46-50 (NASB)
While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, ‘Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.’ But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, ‘Who is My mother and who are My brothers?’ And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, ’Behold My mother and My brothers! ‘For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.’
God is building a spiritual family made up of those who do His will.
Jesus is at a point in His ministry right here where He is experiencing massive opposition. There was opposition over the Sabbath when the disciples were hungry, walked through a field, picked heads of grain, and ate. There was opposition over satanic powers—Jesus was accused of getting His power from Beelzebul, the prince of demons. He faced opposition over signs when the religious leaders demanded a sign, and He told them none would be given except the sign of the prophet Jonah.
And now we come to our text today, and there is opposition from His own relatives. Jesus is right in the middle of His teaching when He is interrupted by His mother and brothers. We aren’t fully told why; we just know they wanted to talk to Him.
Most of us know that occasionally, our families need special care and attention. And as we’ve seen throughout this series, every time Jesus asks a question, He has a profound lesson for us. He is going deeper, probing into our hearts.
I was a youth pastor for ten years in Chicago. When you’re teaching youth, you have to be prepared for constant interruptions. Kids are messing around, getting up to use the restroom, poking each other, and shouting out answers to rhetorical questions. I have to admit, when those interruptions happened, I wasn’t always prepared to just go with the flow. I reacted wrongly many times.
Yet this interruption didn’t bother Jesus at all. In fact, it was an open door for Him to teach a vital lesson. He could have gotten angry with them, but Jesus is not quarrelsome. He could have harshly chastised them, but Jesus is gentle and understanding.
I remember the first time I read this story. Jesus is teaching this crowd, someone interrupts Him to say, “Hey, your mother and your brothers are outside wanting to speak to you.” I thought Jesus would say, “Okay, timeout, guys. My family is outside; I’ll be right back. Talk amongst yourselves.” And most of the crowd would have understood.
So I was blown away when I read verse 48: “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
What does that sound like to you? On the surface, it almost seems like Jesus is being dismissive of His family. But that wasn’t His intent. Instead, He uses this interruption to highlight the supreme importance of spiritual relationships in the will of God and in His kingdom.
Did you know that Jesus’ natural family had to turn to Him for salvation just like everybody else? Right after Jesus’ birth, Mary declared:
Luke 1:46-47 (NASB)
And Mary said: ’My soul exalts the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
Mary was holding that newborn baby in her arms, rejoicing and calling Him her Savior.
So what is the central lesson here? God is building a spiritual family made up of those who do His will. Whatever we are walking through, whatever conflict or opposition we face, as followers of Christ, our calling is to do the Father’s will.
Recognizing the Family Traits
How do you know who has been adopted into the family of God? It is everyone who does the will of the Father.
We have a lot of families here at our church—moms, dads, kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I met a young couple for coffee the other day, and the dad was holding their eight-month-old baby boy. He had this bright red hair just like his dad’s. I looked at him and said, “Oh my goodness, he looks just like you! Look at that hair!”
If I could ever get my mom and dad to come out here from Chicago, you would look at my dad and say, “He looks just like you!” And if you put him on a microphone right here, you could close your eyes and think it was me talking. It’s the exact same voice, same inflection, same everything. Of course, he’s 80, so he doesn’t look exactly like me, but the family resemblance is undeniable.
When you are part of the supernatural, spiritual family of God, there is a family trait that exists: obedience to the will of God.
Have you ever met someone—maybe a hairstylist, a mechanic, or a neighbor—and the more you’re around them, you get a sense that they might be a Christian? You notice they don’t swear, they genuinely care about people, they are optimistic, and they have a palpable hope. You finally ask them, “I have a question for you… are you a Christian?” And when they say, “Why, yes, I am!” you say, “I knew it! I could tell by how you acted and the things you said.” All of a sudden, you realize you are brothers and sisters. Why? You recognized the family trait: obedience to the will of God.
What’s fascinating in this passage is that Jesus’ natural family seemed to think what they had to say was so urgent that it warranted interrupting Jesus while He was preaching the kingdom of God to a crowd.
Matthew 13 and Mark 6 tell us that Mary had other children with her husband, Joseph. This might be surprising to some of you, especially if you come from a Roman Catholic background where it is taught that Mary remained a perpetual virgin. But verse 47 says, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside.” The biblical text strongly supports the reality that these were blood-related half-brothers and sisters.
Psalm 69 gives us a messianic prophecy cited by the apostles in the New Testament:
Psalms 69:8 (NASB)
I have become estranged from my brothers And an alien to my mother’s sons.
The Bible makes it clear that Joseph’s oldest son would be the legal heir to David’s throne. If Joseph had sons from a prior marriage, the oldest of those sons would have been the legal heir, not Jesus.
Furthermore, there is clear evidence in the New Testament that during His earthly ministry, Jesus’ immediate family did not believe in Him.
John 7:2-5 (NASB)
Now the feast of the Jews, the Feast of Booths, was near. Therefore His brothers said to Him, ’Leave here and go into Judea, so that Your disciples also may see Your works which You are doing. ‘For no one does anything in secret when he himself seeks to be [known] publicly. If You do these things, show Yourself to the world.’ For not even His brothers were believing in Him.
In Mark’s gospel, we read an even stronger account:
Mark 3:21 (NASB)
When His own people heard [of] [this], they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, ‘He has lost His senses.’
His own family thought He had lost His mind! And from a purely human standpoint, if someone in your family started walking around claiming to be the Son of God, you might think they had lost their senses too.
Jesus’ family seemed concerned about three things: they thought He was suffering from mental or emotional distress, they didn’t like what He was teaching about the kingdom of God, and they were terrified of the threats being made against Him by religious leaders who wanted Him dead. It is very likely that His family showed up to rescue Him, to pull Him away and protect Him from the cross that was looming on the horizon.
They wanted to protect Him, but Jesus knew the Father’s will for His life.
You might ask, How could His family not believe in Him? Think about it. They grew up with Him. Jesus was the oldest, and then younger siblings came along. If one of my siblings had been sinless, I like to think I would have noticed! My younger sisters got me in trouble all the time. All they had to do when Dad walked in from work was whip up some tears and say, “Daddy, Brian hurt me!” and I was on my way to the bathroom for a spanking from those big carpenter hands. My sisters were not sinless, and neither was I. But Mary and His siblings saw Jesus live a perfect life, and Mary knew about the miracles, starting with the water turned to wine at Cana. Yet familiarity blinded them.
Notice verses 46 and 47 say Jesus’ family was standing outside. They could have been on the inside sitting at His feet, learning and following Him, but they stood on the outside looking in.
Mark 6:4 (NASB)
Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his [own] relatives and in his [own] household.’
It is so easy to take family for granted. We assume our loved ones will always be around, but we never truly know when it is their time to go.
When I moved here from Chicago, I conducted a funeral where a 41-year-old husband and father was killed instantly by a drunk driver on the way home from a Father’s Day gathering. His wife and two toddlers survived, but their lives were altered forever. I reminded the family of what my Grandma Erickson used to tell me: “Brian, never leave family members with harsh words, because if they die before you see them again, those are the words you will carry.”
Scripture commands us to care for our natural families:
1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB)
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Family is vital. But we must ask ourselves an honest question: Is my love for my family greater than my love for God? Is my home child-centered, parent-centered, or Christ-centered?
Redefining True Family
When told His family was outside, look at how Jesus responds:
Matthew 12:48-49 (NASB)
But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, ‘Who is My mother and who are My brothers?’ And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, ’Behold My mother and My brothers!
Jesus was making a profound theological point. He was clarifying that natural family does not grant anyone special, privileged access to the kingdom of God.
Luke records a similar moment where a woman in the crowd shouted out a blessing on Jesus’ mother:
Luke 11:27-28 (NASB)
While Jesus was saying these things, one of the women in the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, ‘Blessed is the womb that bore You and the breasts at which You nursed.’ But He said, ‘On the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.’
Jesus wasn’t disrespecting Mary; He was declaring that hearing and obeying the Word of God is of infinitely greater eternal value than physical lineage. Carrying the Christ child was a tremendous blessing, but Mary’s greatest blessing was placing her faith in Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Natural relationships do not surpass spiritual relationships in the kingdom of God.
Jesus would not let opposition—even well-meaning opposition from His beloved family—derail Him from His divine mission.
Imagine how heartbreaking it must have been for Jesus to carry the reality that His own brothers did not believe Him. If you are a parent trying to raise your kids in a Christ-centered home, and you watch them walk away from the faith, your heart breaks. You pray fervently that they will return. Jesus understood that pain. Yet He loved His family deeply. While dying on the cross, He ensured His mother would be cared for by the apostle John. And after His resurrection, Jesus appeared directly to His brothers. Can you imagine that conversation? “Hey guys, I know we grew up together, but I really am the Son of God, and I just proved it by rising from the dead.” His half-brothers, James and Jude, went on to become pillars of the church and write books of the New Testament!
When you invite Jesus Christ into your life to forgive your sins and surrender to Him as Lord, the Holy Spirit gives you a new nature. You are adopted into God’s forever family. You receive God as your Father, Jesus as your elder brother, and an enormous family of brothers and sisters across every nation, tribe, and tongue.
Matthew 12:50 (NASB)
‘For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.’
We enter this family through faith, and that faith is proven by obedience.
Matthew 7:21 (NASB)
’Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven [will enter].
Salvation is by grace alone through faith alone, but genuine faith transforms us from the inside out. As James wrote:
James 1:22 (NASB)
But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.
Jesus put the cost of discipleship in stark terms:
Luke 14:26-27 (NASB)
’If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. ’Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
Jesus is using hyperbole to make a point: our love for Jesus must be so supreme and consuming that, by comparison, our deepest earthly attachments look like hatred. Salvation is free, but discipleship costs everything. As Bernadette Devlin once said, “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot keep you.”
You will never be truly happier than when you are walking in the center of God’s will. People search for joy in relationships, careers, or money, but lasting fulfillment is found only in Christ.
This begins in the home. A biblical marriage is established to glorify God:
Genesis 2:24 (NASB)
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
A Christ-centered home constantly asks: What is God’s will for our family? In human families, our bonds are tied to biological lineage. In the spiritual family, our bonds are anchored in our shared allegiance to Jesus Christ.
Six Clear Realities of God’s Will
People often ask me, “How do I find God’s will for my life?” Sometimes people act like God is playing that childhood “hotter or colder” game with them, hiding His will in secret. God isn’t playing games with you! His will is clearly revealed in His Word. When you obey what is already written, the specific life decisions—careers, relationships, next steps—begin to fall into place.
Here are six explicit statements from Scripture regarding the will of God for your life:
1. It is God’s will for you to be saved.
1 Timothy 2:3-4 (NASB)
This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
God desires for every husband, wife, and child to step into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.
2. It is God’s will for you to be Spirit-filled.
Ephesians 5:17-18 (NASB)
So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
God’s will is that we do not live recklessly, but surrender daily to the leading and power of the Holy Spirit.
3. It is God’s will for you to walk in purity.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 (NASB)
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; [that is], that you abstain from sexual immorality;
God calls us to holy living and sexual purity in a broken world.
4. It is God’s will for you to be thankful.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)
in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
In every circumstance—good or bad—God’s will is for us to maintain a heart overflowing with gratitude.
5. It is God’s will for you to be submissive.
Hebrews 13:17 (NASB)
Obey your leaders and submit [to them], for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you.
God calls us to honor spiritual leadership and maintain humble hearts toward one another:
Ephesians 5:21 (NASB)
and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
6. It is God’s will for you to be ready to suffer.
1 Peter 3:17 (NASB)
For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
1 Peter 4:19 (NASB)
Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.
It surprises many believers that suffering can be part of God’s will. We often think that if we obey God, life should be easy and trouble-free. But God frequently uses trials and seasons of lack to refine our character, deepen our faith, and prune away self-reliance.
Your life may not be going according to your plan, but it is going according to God’s plan. He loves you enough to sharpen you for His glory.
The Power of Spiritual Community
This is precisely why we place such a high priority on Life Groups here at The Well. We must intentionally pursue authentic community. We need places where we share our lives as they are today—not just polite updates, but our real struggles and victories. We have to come out of isolation, walk in the light, and sharpen one another.
It breaks my heart when someone in our church faces a devastating crisis and realizes they have no one to walk with them except the pastor on call. As pastors, we love you and are always here to pray, counsel, and walk with you. But God designed the church so that you would have brothers and sisters in your life right now. When tragedy strikes, you shouldn’t be wondering who to call—you should have a group of believers ready to bring meals, weep with you, pray over you, and hold you up.
I want to leave you with two vital questions tonight:
First, is your life a Christ-centered life? It is God’s will for you to be saved and Spirit-filled. Have you placed your faith in Jesus Christ as the sole payment for your sin? If you haven’t, don’t leave here without talking to us down front.
Second, is your home a Christ-centered home? Are you actively seeking God’s will, prioritizing His Word, and living in obedience to Him?
God is building an eternal spiritual family made up of those who do His will.
Ephesians 3:20-21 (NASB)
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him [be] the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
Let’s pray.
Father, thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. Thank You, Jesus, for Your perfect obedience to the Father’s will. Lord, I pray for anyone in this room who does not yet know You personally—that today they would surrender their lives to You and be adopted into Your forever family. For those who are feeling isolated, help them take the step to get connected into authentic Christian community. Bind us together as a spiritual family that loves, encourages, and obeys You in all things. In Jesus’ name, Amen.