Romans 1 - Sexual Confusion & How We Got Here
A Season of Tension and Truth
Welcome to The Well Community Church. We are so thankful you are here. To those joining us live and those joining us online, I am just so grateful that you would come. What is assembled here tonight is a wonderfully diverse group of people from all over our great city.
I want to start with a couple of acknowledgments. It has been a very interesting last couple of weeks. I think we grossly underestimated how the online posting of a series on biblical sexuality would be received in our community. It has led to a lot of posts, a lot of comments, and some very passionate reactions. I am sure what you have experienced is similar to what I have experienced: not everything on the internet is true, not everything that has been said is true, and not everything online is helpful. Yet, we are here together, and for that, I am thankful.
I say \u201ctogether\u201d because I know there are many from The Well here, many from other faith communities, and some who are not part of a church at all\u2014or certainly not a church that holds the same view of biblical sexuality you are going to hear tonight. I am very thankful you chose to come and at least hear what is being said.
I want to acknowledge that for many, hearing the Bible’s view of sexuality is exciting. However, I also want to acknowledge those from the LGBTQIA+ community who are here with us. For you, the idea of sitting in a church with a bunch of Christians to talk about the biblical view of sex can be a seriously uncomfortable place. If you happen to be in that crowd, I am so thankful you are here.
Our goal is to share Christ. We acknowledge that historically, this issue has not been handled well in the church. Many people of so-called faith have used the Bible as a bludgeon to heap shame and guilt, or have deemed some sins more acceptable than others. That is not our intent. If you are here from the gay community, we want you to know we see you, we hear you, and we do love you.
That does not suggest there will be total agreement on the issues, but this is a church. As a church, we believe God has revealed Himself in the Bible. We believe God is our Creator and has called us to submit to Him in all things, including our sexuality. We believe human flourishing is found in keeping with God’s design. Our aim is not to spew hate. There is no violence here. We even put snacks and drinks out for the protesters outside because we want everyone to experience the love of Christ. Instead of hate, we want to offer hope.
We are all at the top of the list of people who need Jesus. There is not a person here who is righteous and does not need a Savior to meet us in our brokenness and work with us toward holiness. That is the work of the Gospel.
Why this series and why now? We believe these are very confusing times, especially for our kids and grandkids. Confusing times raise up confused generations. We are watching the statistics of anxiety, depression, and self-harm rise. We are dealing with hurting people, and we believe the Bible communicates a place of rest and peace in Christ. We want to show you what God’s design is so that we might function together in human flourishing.
As we look to the Word of God as our authority, even when it is hard, we are called to adjust our lives to it.
Psalms 19:7-9 (NASB)
The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether.
The Heart of the Well: A Place for the Broken
It is an honor to introduce a dear friend, Dr. Denny Burke. Denny is a professor of biblical studies at Boyce College and a pastor at Kenwood Baptist Church. He has written extensively on sexual ethics and gender. But more than his credentials, he is a man who loves the Gospel.
As we tackle this difficult subject, we must remember that this is a church that loves sinners. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught that sin is not merely a matter of our deeds, but a matter of our desire.
Matthew 5:27-28 (NASB)
’You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
This means that every single one of us north of puberty in this room tonight is a sexual sinner of some sort. Not a single one of us comes to an event like this with a spotless spiritual pedigree. If you came here tonight looking for people with spotless pedigrees, you have come to the wrong place. But if you have come because you are dead tired and thirsty, desperate for the waters of life, you have come to the right place. You have come to \u201cThe Well,\u201d and this is where the living waters come forth.
Isaiah 55:1-2 (NASB)
’Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk Without money and without cost. ’Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And delight yourself in abundance.
How Did We Get Here? The Rise of the Modern Self
A couple of years ago, I read a book by Carl Trueman called The Rise and Fall of the Modern Self. It begins with a sentence that captures our current moment: \u201cI am a woman trapped in a man\u2019s body.\u201d Trueman notes that if his grandfather had heard that sentence thirty years ago, he would have considered it incoherent gibberish. Yet today, it is regarded as so significant that to question it is to be labeled immoral or irrational.
How did we get to the place where a sentence like that makes sense? In 2017, National Geographic published an issue celebrating LGBTQ identities. There was an image of a 17-year-old boy posing shirtless with a skateboard. Looking closer, you could see two scars on his chest. It was actually a 17-year-old girl who had undergone a double mastectomy. The caption explained that she had felt like a boy since fifth grade, and now she \u201crelishes skateboarding shirtless.\u201d
What happened that would lead parents to consent to having their child\u201s healthy organs removed for a photo in a magazine? Twenty years ago, that would have seemed unthinkable. I think our grandfathers wouldn’t laugh; they would weep.
We are living in the aftermath of the sexual revolution in an increasingly post-Christian context. My aim tonight is to walk through how we got here. The short answer is that we have sown to the wind and are reaping the whirlwind. We have to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NASB)
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. [We are] destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and [we are] taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,
I want to bring your attention to four \u201cspeculations\u201d or secular ideas that have been raised up against the knowledge of God, and contrast them with biblical reality.
Speculation 1: Identity \u2013 Self-Determined vs. God-Determined
The modern secular speculation is that human identity is self-determined, not God-determined. This is the air we breathe. Sociologists call it \u201cexpressive individualism.\u201d It is the idea that the purpose of life is to find your deepest inner self, express that to the world, and forge an identity regardless of what family, tradition, or religious authorities say.
As Justice Kennedy once wrote in a Supreme Court opinion, \u201cAt the heart of liberty is the right to define one’s own concept of existence.\u201d
But the biblical view is that human identity is God-determined. If there is a God who created us, then His design gives meaning to our lives. To ignore that design is to pursue a path that eventually brings pain. You know what a hammer is for\u2014it\u2019s for driving nails. You could use it to break into your car, but it would be better for you and the car if you used the keys. God\u2019s design is not there to hurt us; it\u2019s there to help us flourish.
Psalms 100:3 (NASB)
Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; [We are] His people and the sheep of His pasture.
If God made us, our deepest need is not to assert our own will, but to discover His will and forge our identity in keeping with His design.
Speculation 2: Sex \u2013 For Pleasure vs. For God
The secular view is that sex is merely for pleasure. This is the \u201cSheryl Crow philosophy\u201d: If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad. This worldview affirms any sexual act as long as there is consent. Because of modern birth control, we no longer fear the consequences of fertility, so sex has become a recreational activity.
This has massive social consequences. We are seeing a phenomenon called \u201cprolonged adolescence.\u201d In 1960, the vast majority of people had reached adulthood markers\u2014like marriage and children\u2014by age 30. Today, those numbers have plummeted. People are spending their 20s in a \u201chookup culture,\u201d delaying marriage while most fertile, only to struggle to reclaim that fertility in their late 30s. It has brought us more sex, but not better sex.
The biblical view is that sex is for God, not merely for pleasure. God is not a cosmic killjoy; He designed the pleasure of sex. But problems occur when pleasure is sought as an end in itself. Scripture reveals four purposes for sex:
- Consummation: The one-flesh union that completes the marriage covenant.
- Procreation: The mandate to be fruitful and multiply, spreading God’s image across the earth.
- Love: The physical expression of a comprehensive union between husband and wife.
- Pleasure: A powerful inducement to achieve the other three purposes.
Genesis 1:28 (NASB)
God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’
Speculation 3: Marriage \u2013 Cultural vs. Universal
The secular view is that marriage is a cultural invention, not a universal one. If marriage is just a human idea, we can make it whatever we want. If I want to leave my spouse for someone else, my \u201cexpressive individualism\u201d says my feelings should trump my vows. On this view, marriage has no objective meaning; it must accommodate the sexual feelings of all people, regardless of gender.
The problem is that we live in a fallen world. Our feelings often betray us. You cannot measure the rightness of a feeling by how \u201cnatural\u201d it feels. The biblical view is that marriage is universal because it was designed by God.
When Jesus and Paul taught on marriage, they didn\u2019t point to the polygamous kings or the brokenness of the patriarchs. They always pointed back to the garden\u2014to Adam and Eve.
Matthew 19:4-6 (NASB)
And He answered and said, ’Have you not read that He who created [them] from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ’FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH ’? ‘So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.’
Jesus and Paul looked back to the pre-fall, monogamous union of one man and one woman as the norm. Any sexual activity outside of that covenant falls short of God\u2019s design.
Speculation 4: Gender \u2013 Assigned vs. Revealed
Finally, the secular view is that gender is \u201cassigned\u201d at birth and can be arbitrary. If a person feels like a different gender than their biological sex, the modern view says we must affirm that feeling through \u201cgender-affirming care,\u201d which often includes hormones or surgery.
But consider this: there is a psychological condition where people feel they should be an amputee, despite having healthy legs. Doctors resist amputating healthy limbs because it violates the Hippocratic oath. They recognize that the mind is at odds with reality. If we accept the goodness of the body\u2019s design when it comes to legs, why would we treat sexual organs differently?
In a fallen world, our minds and bodies can be at conflict. This should not evoke sneering, but compassion. We want to help people resolve that distress in a way that aligns with their biological sex. The biblical view is that gender is revealed through the body. Biological sex is the organization of the body for reproduction; gender is the social manifestation of that sex. If the body says male but the brain says female, we must bring the hope of the Gospel to help the mind align with God\u2019s physical revelation.
The Way Forward: Crucified with Christ
Long before gay marriage or gender identity were mainstream issues, we were becoming expressive individualists. We came to believe that the \u201cgood life\u201d means determining our own identity.
But what if we\u2019ve been wrong? What if your identity is God-determined? What if He, in love, has revealed what your life is meant to be?
In Christ, there is no room for expressive individualism. We have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. We have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Ephesians 5:31 (NASB)
FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
We are trying to do two things: remind those in Christ what we were designed for, and put that design on display for the world. We want those who don\u2019t know Christ to see what a \u201chammer\u201d is actually for\u2014to see the beauty of human flourishing under God\u2019s word.
Following Jesus isn\u2019t just about being \u201cmoral.\u201d It\u2019s about a total transformation where we repent of our sin and invite Him to be our Savior. Apart from Him, we can do nothing.
If you find the wheels coming off your life, or if you are looking for a place where broken people find wholeness, we invite you to The Well. God is faithful, and He came to seek and save the lost. It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick. We all found our rock bottom and turned to Christ. We want that same hope for you.