Grace in the Gray / Romans 14:1-12
Navigating the Gray Areas
Well, church family, it is good to see you here this week. Do me a favor, if you would: turn in your Bibles to Romans chapter 14. If you are just joining us in this series, I want to welcome you. My name is Shay Semmelin, one of the pastors here. We have spent the better part of the year since the fall walking through the book of Romans, which deals in its totality with the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The gospel is the good news that God has provided His own Son, Jesus Christ, as the payment and the ransom for our sin. Through transferring our trust to Him for our salvation rather than ourselves, forgiveness has been granted. We studied that thoroughly in the first eleven chapters. Since chapter 12, we’ve been looking at the implications of that gospel. Not only has the gospel purchased us, but it has given us power through the Holy Spirit to transform our lives day by day into the new creation God saved us to be.
This power is renewing our minds so that we view life differently. We’ve learned how to relate to God, how to relate to the church, how to love those around us, and even how to relate to our enemies and the government. Last week, as PJ opened up the end of Romans 13, we talked about the nature of love as the only debt we owe. The gospel is not only our model for love; it is the very power by which we unconditionally love those around us.
But there is one specific area we haven’t looked at yet: how that love demonstrates itself when we differ with one another on certain areas of life. Is it possible that in a room of this size, not everyone agrees with how you think? Is it possible that we have different opinions, people at different spectrums of spiritual growth, and different traditions or denominations represented? We aren’t all going to agree on everything.
I am talking about the areas of non-commanded issues—what we call “gray areas.” These are areas that aren’t so black and white in the Bible. They aren’t universal doctrinal or moral commands, but areas where things are just gray. The Bible doesn’t explicitly speak to them, but you have an opinion or a conviction that is different from mine. How in the world are we going to get along?
For instance, is it possible to have different opinions on whether your kids should be homeschooled, private schooled, or public schooled? Oh, I just picked a fight right there, didn’t I? What about whether you should vote Republican or Democrat? Can that pick a fight in the church? If we had a show of hands for who you voted for in the last election, we’d feel the tension immediately. Is it possible to disagree over whether we should hand out candy at Halloween? Whether you should bottle feed or breastfeed? Some of you are thinking, “What?” and others are saying, “Yes, let’s talk about it!”
Is it possible to disagree over whether The Well should do communion once every six weeks or every week? Should we sing hymns or Hillsong? I could go on and on: whether you should drink a beer, whether you should get a tattoo—there will forever be different opinions on these things. As a pastor, I can assure you that the emails I get on a weekly basis are rarely asking about substitutionary atonement or justification by faith. Do you know what they are? “Hey, can you explain why we are drinking coffee in the sanctuary? Isn’t this the house of God?” “Can you explain why you and Pastor Brad don’t wear Dockers when you preach?” I’ve actually had that email. “Why is this dude teaching on a video screen?”
In every one of those instances, there is not one command in Scripture that prohibits or requires those things. Yet, these are the very issues we pick fights over. These are the issues that split churches and cause more collateral damage than core doctrines. The only way we will navigate these tensions is by pursuing a gospel-motivated love that anchors on the essentials and unifies around the mission of Christ.
Understanding the “Weak” and the “Strong”
I want to show you what I believe is the most difficult passage in the entire Bible to apply. It’s not hard to understand, but it is incredibly hard to live out.
Romans 14:1 (NASB)
Now accept the one who is weak in faith, [but] not for [the purpose of] passing judgment on his opinions.
Paul starts by saying, “Accept the one who is weak in faith.” He wants us to welcome them with open arms, not for the purpose of passing judgment on their opinions. Now, let me unpack that. In this context, “weak in faith” is not talking about someone who is immoral or an unbeliever. It’s not someone seeking to justify themselves by works—Paul deals with that in Galatians, and his tone there is furious. But you don’t see that tone here. Paul isn’t condemning anyone in Romans 14.
Someone who is “weak in faith” here is someone who hasn’t fully comprehended the totality of the grace and freedom purchased for them in Jesus. Because of a lack of understanding, they have developed a conviction to abstain from something—not because the Bible commands it, but because their conscience tells them that abstaining will glorify God. The tendency for this person is to assume their conviction is what everyone else should have, too. They dogmatize it as a universal command even though it isn’t in Scripture.
On the flip side, the “strong in faith” is the person who has a discipled understanding that Christ has fulfilled the Levitical law. They understand they have the freedom to pursue these neutral areas. Paul tells the stronger one: you need to welcome the weaker one as a brother or sister. Don’t condemn them. Notice that Paul calls their understanding an “opinion.” This isn’t about commanded doctrine; it’s a matter of conscience.
The Conflict of Conviction
Paul uses two examples prevalent in his day: holy food and holy days.
Romans 14:2 (NASB)
One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables [only].
One person believes he may eat all things. This person understands that through the gospel, dietary codes have been fulfilled. In the Old Testament, certain foods were “unclean” to reflect God’s holiness. But Jesus taught in Matthew 15 that it’s not what goes into a man that makes him righteous; Jesus makes you righteous. So, the Jewish believer who hasn’t eaten pork in 1,500 years is suddenly free. Some guy says, “Awesome! Bacon? I’m wrapping everything in bacon!” He has the freedom to do that with a clean conscience.
However, at the end of verse two, we see the other guy: “he who is weak eats vegetables only.” Now, for you barbecue lovers, hold on. This guy is having a hard time with the transition. Imagine your family hasn’t eaten certain foods for fifteen centuries as an act of worship. Even if the Bible now gives permission, your conscience feels defiled. He’d rather abstain.
What are we going to do when this happens in the church? When one group feels they have license and another feels they must abstain? Is it the vegan’s job to throw stones at the pork chop guy and call him licentious? Is it the pork chop guy’s job to ridicule the vegan for not knowing his Bible? This is what causes fights. Are we going to have a “Vegan Church” and a “Tri-Tip Church”?
I want to make this clear: we are dealing with neutral areas. We are not talking about areas that are clear in Scripture, either doctrinally or morally. We aren’t giving license to a brother who wants to sleep with his girlfriend or someone who says all paths lead to heaven. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” Those are clear commands. We are talking about gray areas that require wisdom, patience, and prayer.
Romans 14:3 (NASB)
The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him.
The response is simple: the one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not. If you have freedom, don’t ridicule or look down on the person who doesn’t. And the one who abstains is not to judge the one who eats. Why? Because God has already accepted them. God has made a ruling on their salvation. The score is settled.
Romans 14:4 (NASB)
Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
You and I are not the ones the other person has to report to. God is. He is the one who judges the heart and the motivations. On the day of judgment, even the weakest brother or sister you know will stand victorious and cleansed in Jesus Christ. Because God accepts them, we should too. Put down the guns. Stop throwing stones.
Living Unto the Lord
Paul gives a second illustration regarding holy days.
Romans 14:5 (NASB)
One person regards one day above another, another regards every day [alike]. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.
One person regards one day above another; another regards every day alike. One person decides not to work on the Sabbath to honor God. Another person realizes that the Sabbath is the only one of the Ten Commandments not repeated in the New Testament, and that according to Hebrews 4, Jesus is our rest. So, he feels free to work a double shift at Tahoe Joe’s.
Is it possible for two different people to serve the same God with two completely different choices, and for God to be pleased with both? According to Romans 14, the answer is yes.
Romans 14:6 (NASB)
He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God.
The driving issue isn’t whether you eat or don’t eat, or whether you work or don’t work. The driving issue is the motivation to glorify God. Whether you turn off your lights on Halloween or bless the neighborhood, the question is: are you doing it “unto the Lord”?
Romans 14:7-8 (NASB)
For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.
The entire spectrum of your Christian experience, from the cradle to the grave, is to be marked by the exaltation of Jesus Christ. He is the driving factor. Every choice is governed by the question: “Does this glorify Christ and demonstrate the power of the gospel?” We don’t own ourselves.
Romans 14:9 (NASB)
For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.
Jesus died and rose again to be Lord of all. God owns us once by creation and twice by redemption. Every breath and every choice should be governed by what pleases Him. My job is not to judge your heart in these neutral areas, because Jesus is the one who will serve as the judge.
The Final Account
Romans 14:10-12 (NASB)
But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, ‘AS I LIVE, SAYS THE LORD, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW TO ME, AND EVERY TONGUE SHALL GIVE PRAISE TO GOD.’ So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.
At the end of our days, we will all stand before God and give an account—not just for every deed, but for every motivation. Hebrews says we will appear naked before His throne. There will be no pretense or false facades. God will reveal the “why” behind everything. Every motivation done for His glory will stand; everything done for ourselves will be discarded.
Knowing this, we can relinquish our need to judge those we disagree with. We can trust that God is searching the hearts of our brothers and sisters. He knows who is acting out of reverence for Him. We can trust Him with that.
Four Takeaways for the Church
As we land the plane, I want to give you four clear takeaways from this passage.
First, we need to stop picking fights with other blood-bought believers over non-essential, non-revealed issues. We shouldn’t die on hills that the Bible never calls us to die on. Are these areas important? Yes. Do they require wisdom? Absolutely. But we cannot let them split us. Secondary issues add flavor to the body, but primary issues—the gospel, justification by faith—provide the nutrients that sustain life. Let’s keep the main thing the main thing.
Second, we need to solidify our own convictions in these gray areas without wavering. This requires thinking. Sometimes in the church, we aren’t good at thinking; we just want to be told what to do. Think of the Bible like road signs. Some signs are clear: “STOP.” If you run a stop sign, you cause damage. But other signs are yellow: “DANGER: CURVE AHEAD.” That requires interpretation. How fast should you go? You have to use discernment. We must establish our own convictions before the Lord through prayer and study.
Third, once those convictions are established, do everything out of a heartfelt motivation to worship Jesus. Ask yourself the hard questions: “Why do I do what I do?” Fight against any worldly impulse or carnal desire that seeks to steal God’s glory in your decisions. Make Jesus your all-satisfying treasure.
Lastly, in those secondary areas where we differ—and we will differ—let’s relinquish one another to the Lord. Trust that He is the judge. Can we educate one another? Sure. Can I show you why I landed where I did? Yes. But do it in love, not by tearing down the body Christ died to redeem.
When we do these things, Jesus is exalted, the church is edified, and the gospel moves forward. Now, there is still a tension here. One is weak, one is strong. Who has to make the first move to bring about unity? You’ll have to come back next week to find out.
Let’s pray.
Father, we love You. We thank You that despite our pride and our desire to have our own preferences matter most, there is grace for us. I pray, Holy Spirit, that You would do a work in our hearts. Help us faithfully discern the areas where You have clearly commanded us, and give us wisdom for the areas that are gray. Give us the courage not to die on hills we don’t need to die on. Teach us to love one another with a gospel-motivated love that unifies us for Your glory and our good. In Jesus’ name, Amen.